What a week! I don't even know where to begin...it has been full of ups and downs, many of those downs coming from within myself. Makes me wonder if all this balance talk has just been superficial to this point. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. It has to start somewhere.
I have continued to follow my new eating plan, and for the most part am feeling quite successful and am enjoying it. (Becoming less attached to food and such) I feel like it combines a lot of what I have "learned" about nutrition, things that almost seemed conflicting, and put them together in a way that makes sense to me. I am "eating more"--6 small meals that add up to about 1600 calories, consisting of lots of vegetables, some fruits, proteins and fats, without much sugar. (Preferrably no sugar, but I do take a taste now and then, mostly on the weekends, and nowhere NEAR what I used to consume.) I have followed it for about 30 days now, along with adding new exercise routines to the cross fitness training that I have grown to love. I think my body needs new movements and more cardio, so I actually took the plunge and went to ZUMBA!! I have only been twice, and while I can honestly say that "my body does not DO THAT," I can also honestly say that I have enjoyed it. I am also doing some yoga routines in the mornings to hopefully will help my knee.
Which leads me to my first frustration: my knee. I somehow tweaked it 2-ish years ago (I guess it's a tight IT band, without proper stretching, etc,) and I ignored it for too long. I have had to cut back on some of my workouts--my favorites are squats and box jumps, and I have had to really modify them--and sometimes even just walking really hurts. I thought it was healing, but the first night at zumba really left me hurting. I think it actually hurt more than it ever has! I let myself be affected emotionally by it because I am actively working on getting past this "plateau" I'm on, feeling like pushing myself physically again, and here is the "obstacle." (I know, whaaaaa! huh?)
Second frustration came Wednesday...I probably can't even explain it to the caliber that I felt it. In my mind it all made perfect sense. In words, it probably sounds quite ridiculous...but...
Small preface, since I can't remember if I have posted anything about my thyroid: I have been on hypothyroid medication for almost 16 years, and I have done fairly well with it, though weight loss has been a struggle. I started seeing some results, first with Isagenix (which I LOVE and will never stop)and then with crossfit (which will also probably be a forever thing for me,) and then it came to a halt. I went up and down with nutrition commitments, all with the same results--NOTHING. I had learned to be "fine" with it, but then I started GAINING! at rapid pace! I'm talking 12 lbs in 10 days. That was not ok with me! Not only was their weight gain, but I was just feeling "off" in all areas of my life. That is when I started this blog theme and this permanent life change called "balance."
OK, that being said, I kind of took my thyroid into my own hands, using a doctor as an authority to figure out and write prescriptions for the right meds and the right dosages. My long-time doc was frustrating me, so I went to a gynocologist until he admitted he couldn't make sense of what my thryoid was doing and referred me to an endocrinologist. FINALLY the endocrinologist called me, and I made an appointment. I tried not to be excited to finally talk to someone who would KNOW what was going on, but I couldn't help it. I went prepared to show him what I had been doing to help myself, including exercise, vitamins (especially Isagenix's new "Product B,")and cleaner eating, and I basically wanted him to help me see if there was something missing and to monitor my progress through the proper blood tests, etc. Well, he was a jerk! (I have always disliked specialists because of their know-it-all attitude--I know that is a hasty generalization--but this guy proved my dslike theory to the T!) He wouldn't even look at me, let alone listen to me, and proceeded to tell me that I need to eat less and exercise harder. HE HAS NO IDEA!!! I have been working harder and eating better than I ever have in my life, but for some reason I'm having opposite results! I began to cry, right in his office, and I cried harder when I handed my debit card to the cashier to pay $200 for NOTHING! I know. It sounds ridiculous, but that is how I felt...
Now for the resolution: I texted Dave and told him how mad I was. He called his friend, Mike Lantz, who has coached several people past their plateaus using Isagenix and the knowledge he has gleaned as he has become an Iron Man (competing in 8 or 9 of them so far.) I was almost going to refuse because "I'm tired of getting my hopes up" and every other excuse in the book, but then I remembered that I am on a personal growth journey; I chose to be a good girl and go along. And you know what? I felt peace after talking to him for the first time--probably because he LISTENED to me--and I'm going to find a solution. I just know it!
Needless to say, I am turning more and more toward Isagenix as a product and as a people and less toward to the medical field. I know there are SEVERAL doctors who are good at what they do and who still listen to people. I believe medicine as a science is a blessing from heaven. It has a very important place in our world, but for now I am looking elsewhere.
For my knee, I finally got a supply of the Isagenix joint support vitamins and cream, and I am going to use it as I learned at convention...watch with me as I rely soley on what this amazing company and its knowlegable field has discovered. **keeping my fingers crossed**
What does this have to do with balance? I don't know, other than that I am going to find it.
PS: After I calmed down and came back to my senses on Wednesday, I remembered that Madyson had talked me into frozen yogurt the evening before...so I am little curious as to whether the sugar in the yogurt caused me to frenzy like I did. This is something else I am going to pay attention to...
3 comments:
You know, I'm all for doctors, too, but not when they don't listen and act like know-it-alls. I have to tell you I would have sat there and cried in that doctor's office, too. It doesn't sound ridiculous at all!!! I would have cried handing them that debit card, too. I am NOT kidding. I know doctors are human, but basically they get one try with me and then I'm on to the next. I had bronchitis a few years ago, and this last winter I started feeling the same weird (I can't explain it) thing in my chest and lungs, so I went to the doctor (granted it was my gyno) thinking I could catch it early. And she told me I have asthma. Are you kidding me?! Asthma that shows up out of nowhere when I'm 39? Yes, she said. She prescribed like 2 or 3 medications (one she said, "Just in case" it's not asthma). Um, hello. Needless to say, I did not even fill the prescriptions. The breathing thing went away on its own after a couple of weeks. So it may not have been bronchitis... but it sure wasn't asthma! Anyway, long gripe-y story just to say that doctors can be blessings or idiots. Anyway, keep up with the healthy eating. Sounds like you are doing great at it, even with the occasional treats. So sorry about your knee. That would be SO frustrating! When I am injured, it really is an emotional thing--very hard. I hope Dave's friend can really help you on the road to what you're looking for!! *fingers crossed* :)
"Just in case" is a good indication of "I have no clue!" GRrrrr! Just admit it, already!
I feel kind of awkward putting all of this online for the world to read, but it helps me sort through it all and puts it in just a little better perspective. And your comments always help, too.
I hope I sound, overall, like my true happy self through all of the mumbo jumbo. :)
Exactly. When she added the "just in case," I right then and there decided not to fill the prescriptions. I am NOT putting some weird medicine in my body if it doesn't need it. And, yes, I am seeing someone else now. :)
As far as "online for all the world to read," don't worry about that too much. My oldest is SO private and he gets annoyed that I blog about him because it's "public," but what I told him (and the way I see it) is that, yes, it's technically "public," but who really reads my blog??? Like 6 people. People who are my FRIENDS!
Yes, I think you do sound like your normal, true, happy self, but just struggling to find the balance we ALL struggle to find. You have your own frustrations on your mind right now, and even though some are the same as mine and some are different from mine, it just comes across as "this is life." So no worries there, either. I had kind of a "series" (for lack of a better word) of blog posts last winter that pretty much all related to hating where I live and hating the weather. I knew I sounded like a broken record, but I wrote what I thought and felt, and it wasn't until later I realized I may have a bit of seasonal depression! I think the writing and having responses from others (FRIENDS!) can help us on our "journeys." :)
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