A Few Notes from the General Relief Society Broadcast

I have been so ornery today! (I think it is in partly because yesterday I totally indulged in way to many yummy yet deadly foods, all involving white sugar and/or white flour.) But I realize even more strongly that it is due to losing some of the balance that I have been so desperately seeking. Sure, I have been going through the motions, but sometimes (more often than not) I forget the WHYs of what I am doing. Especially when it comes to things of the Spirit (my favorite part of life!)

I just watched the General Relief Society annual broadcast. It was wonderful. Here are just a few of the incredible words that were spoken:

Julie B Beck, Relief Sociey General President

We need to a render more service, sincerely come to know each sister, do the things He would do if He were here, concentrate more on caring about our sisters more than our busy lists of things to do, help people grow spiritually (focusing on visiting teaching, but to me it also means throughout life!)

*************

Silvia H Allred, First Counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency

The first presidency has requested that we study the new Relief Society book "Daughters in My Kingdom" about the history of the Relief Society organization.

We learn that Charity is not a single act or something we give a way, but a way of living. How do we receive charity? Have a sincere desire, pray to be filled with Christ's love, read the scriptures daily to acquaint ourselves with the Savior's charitable examples. Joseph Smith showed charity, and Thomas S Monsen is a perfect example of charity to us today. Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down, refusing to be offended easily, seeing people as they really are, looking past physical appearances. When we serve others with charity, we serve when it is not convenient, not expecting the act to be reciprocated.

Acts of charity soften hearts. Acts of charity are guided by the Savior's examples. Providing charity helps us to overcome our own difficulties and make them seem less challenging.

Joseph Smith said, "If you live up to these principles (of charity,) how great will be your joy in the Lord's Kindgom." (paraphrased...)

All acts of charity have a healing power.

All of us should pray for charity. The Lord will crown our efforts with success.

*************

Barbara Thompson, 2nd Counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency

If ye will cleave unto thy God, the destroyer will have no strength over thee. Retire with prayer and thy heart will be comforted.

The temple endowment brings us out of darkness and into marvelous light.

We covenant to give up all that we are, all that we possess for the Kingdom of God. Great are the blessings we receive when we cleave unto our covenants.

Joy comes from faithfulness in keeping in the commandments of God. Ammon said "How great reason we have to rejoice. My joy is full. Yay, my heart is filled with joy...." as he brought thousands unto Christ.

When members of the church keep their covenants, they feel tremendous joy amid the trials they face. "We know God will guide us and sustain us..."

Temples allow the Lord to pour out His blessings upon His people.

When people sift through our belongings after we have died, will they find evidence that we have kept our covenants?

Keeping our covenants is joy and peace, protection, and joy in times of trial.

*************

Forget Me Not: doesn't attract immediate attention, but has a hounding plea in its name.

5 petals, 5 symbols:

Forget not to be patient and compassionate with yourself. God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Neither are the people that you think are perfect. yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others, usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. It is wonderful that we have strengths and part of God's plan in our mortal existence to have weaknesses. One day, God plans to turn all of our weaknesses into strengths, but we are not there yet. Be patient and compassionate with yourselves. Celebrate the tiny successes and may, like the forget me not, may seem to go unnoticed, but God notices everything.

Forget not the different between a good sacrifice for a foolish sacrifice. Losing a few hours of sleep sitting with a child having a nightmare--good sacrifice. Staying up all night to make an accessory for her sunday dress--foolish sacrifice. :)

Forget not to be happy now. We are often looking for that "golden ticket." One woman lookes so forward to being married. She would be the perfect mother and wife, with lots of children who preferred to spend all of their time with mom and dad. This was her golden ticket. but it never happened. She couldn't understand why God would not grant this righteous desire, and she became bitter. She worked with children at school, but was disliked by them and was often mean to them. This circumstance caused her to miss the opportunity to influence hundreds of children for good as a teacher. If we spend all our days looking for the beautiful bouquet of roses, we may miss the forget me nots. Never stop wishing for all the righteous desires, but don't close your heart to all of the beauty and sweetness of every day moments. Weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder to be truly happy.

Forget not the WHY of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We sometimes see the gospel as a long list of tasks to add to our already long to-do list. We focus on what and how to do what the Lord wants us to do, but we sometimes forget WHY! The gospel is not an obligation. It is a pathway, marked by our loving Heavenly Father, leading to happiness and peace in this life and glory and inexpressable fulfillment in the life to come. The eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the why. Let us not walk unaware of the beauty of the glorious earthly and spiritual landscapes that surround us. Seek out the exhilarating joy . It will inspire and uplift you! The what and how of obedience marks the way and keeps us on the right path, but the why of obedience sanctifies our actions, transforming the mundane into the majestic. it magnifies our small acts of obedience into holy acts of consecration.

Forget not that Heavenly Father knows, loves, and cherishes you.

We are not forgotten of the Savior! no matter how dark things me seem, how insignificant you may feel, you are known and remembered by the most majestic and powerful being of the Universe. He knows our name. We are the daughters of His Kingdom. We are closer to heaven than we suppose. We are destined for more than we can imagine. Treasure the gift of membership in this glorious and true church. Continue to seek out those who need your help.

Never forget that you are a precious daughter in the Lord's kingdom.

There is something inspiring and sublime about the little forget me not flower. Let it be a symbol of the little things that make your life joyful and sweet.

All Things Happen for a Reason...

A few months ago I made a commitment to teach a storybooking class at a Family Education Fair for the community ed department at Dixie State College. I enjoy teaching people how to preserve their life stories, so I was actually kind of excited. After having committed, of course, I was forced to turn down some other really great opportunities that just happened to be the same date and time. Among those was a hands-on cooking class taught by my talented friend, Christie Thomas; a first-time-ever weekend storybooking retreat in Provo, sponsored by my Heritage Makers leadership friends; a chance to work a booth at Swiss Days with my team member consultant friend, Jan McConkie; and a chance to go with Dave to hear him speak in Las Vegas...but I stayed true to my commitment and turned all of these down.

This whole week was nutso, so I put off the "getting ready" until the 11th hour (I have the verbage ingrained on my brain, so I wasn't worried) and went to bed late last night. Then, because Arielle and I are still in the car-sharing mode, I had to wake up at 6 am to take her to work so I could have the car. (I cherish Saturday morning sleep in time...just so you know.) So I come home, do a couple of quick morning chores, hop in the shower and get all dressed up (I also cherish Saturday slob moments...,) put on make-up, neglect making breakfast for my boys and their friend who slept over (Saturday is the only day I make breakfast,) and head out the door in time to set up early and breathe...

I hope your feeling the moment as I have set the scene for you...

I arrived at the North Instruction Building, where I was told my class would be held: room 107. Alas, the door is locked. Room 106 has a class in progress, so I figure they must have told me wrong (it has been known to happen,) and I am to use the same room when this class is over. I had a quick thought to run across the street to the registration office to make sure I was correct in my assumption, but I didn't want to leave my computer unattended, nor did I want to haul it across the street, so I sat on the floor in the hallway to wait. But 11:00am grew nearer and I could tell the other class was nowhere near wrapping it up...so I found a group of girls, asked them to guard my stuff, and headed across the street...

My class had been canceled...due to lack of interest...

Well, maybe if they had advertised it as I told them it should be instead of as "scrapbooking," which I was NOT teaching, there would have been interest! OR maybe they could have let me know BEFORE I showed up that I didn't need to go through all the trouble to come and spend a half hour in their hall!

(deep breath...)

All things happen for a reason...

SO! I am going to spend my day at my computer, completing my entire online CIS course. Maybe it was all in the plan...

My Photo Eval...

Regarding last night's "comparison" post:

I don't notice a whole lot of difference in size. Well, at least POST Isagenix. But I DO notice something: I looked so old! I look at least 10 years younger now than I did 7 years ago. That is so amazing to me, but I guess that is what good nutrition does for you!

Sidebar: I am really excited to see what happens in the aging department now that Isagenix has introduced their useful aging phenomenon, "Product B." You can learn about this incredible scientific breakthrough at www.productbinfo.net or find it on www.isamovie.com

My moral to this story is, focus on the fact that I FEEL better. Take baby steps in adapting my diet while learning yummy ways to eat more veggies. Remember that focusing just on balancing my body is taking the whole me way out of balance...

Whew! Feels better already! :)

What Have I Done?!?!

5 years ago, we (my husband, Dave, 6 kids and I) moved from a small 1400-square-foot, 3 bedroom home into a 4500-square-foot, 7 bedroom home. The first home had a really great laundry room! I was able to wash, dry, fold, hang, iron, etc in my laundry room, so while I really hate to do laundry, I was able to enjoy it there. The new house has a sorry excuse for a laundry room--Think about it, 7 bedrooms means lots of people, right? Well, at least in Utah where families have lots of kids. You would think a smart architect would design a proportionate laundry room... so anyways...-- There is room for a washer and dryer and a place to stand. That is it. My hate for laundry came flooding back as my kids started throwing their laundry in that room for me to wash.

My solution? Fire myself from laundry duty. Hire kids to do their own. Done! Sounds like the perfect situation, doesn't it? Well, it COULD be if the kids would follow my one laundry room rule: if it isn't in the washer or the dryer, it does NOT belong in the laundry room. But NO! For the past 4 years or so, I have had a tizzy laundry fit at least once a week (certain kids cause more fits than others) when the laundry tornado would hit.

So yesterday, I found a pile of clean wet towels underneath a huge pile of nasty dirty laundry... I immediately made a drastic decision. I am retaking the laundry responsibility and my kids are banned from that room...

I know, you're thinking "but what about your balance journey! Suddenly re-adding 3 teenagers and one 7 year old's laundry (2 have moved away since we moved in) back into my already nutso schedule has to throw you out of balance, right?

Well, yes and no. Right now I am realizing that it is about balance in how I feel. I need to balance the amount of time I feel like Cruella with the amount of time that I actually feel like a nice-ish mother. I decided that my hate for laundry room invasion is way stronger than my hate for actually doing the laundry...

So here are the new rules:

1. No kids allowed in the laundry room except to take your clean clothes that I have carefully hung down to your bedroom.



2. You have a special day each week that I will do your laundry. If I come to your room to gather the dirty clothes, and they are on the floor instead of the basket, you forfeit your week and will wear dirty clothes (or figure something else out) until your day comes back around.



3. You will put your clean clothes AWAY! No exceptions.

How do I enforce this, you ask? GOOD QUESTION!!! But I am determined and it's going to work. I am slowly retaking my house...(notice I said slowly).

Wish me luck!

Comparison

I have been thinking a lot today about my whole body balance journey and how I am letting it create-- unbalance? imbalance?--yes, imbalance in the rest of my life. I still feel frustrated, and it's not just because of weight (just to get myself out of the shallow category...ha ha) but because of confusion! I still credit my thyroid/hormones with a lot of the physical and emotional imbalance here, but that is not my point....

I decided today that I am going to find photos of myself over the past 7 years to see if I have changed or have indeed remained the same after all of my struggles... I am scared to post them for ya'all, but I'm gonna...let's compare, shall we?

This was pre-Isagenix. About 2005

I believe this was shortly after Isagenix...I think there is a slight difference...



Heritage Makers TAC Cruise, 2006. About 7 months after starting Isagenix.

*So much fun, I might add*



Also TAC 2006




Nashville, Summer 2006.


Family Photos, Fall 2006

HM TAC 2008

TAC, January 2009

NYC, Summer 2009


HM Reunion 2009

Summer 2010

HM Reunion, August 2011



Also HM Reunion 2011


TONIGHT! After 30 days of the strictest I've been with my eating...

I don't know...other than this seems silly. :)

But Dave just told me that he heard coconut oil helps people with thyroid weight issues...is it worth a shot? (I'm hopeless! ha ha)

Happiness is Definitely Balancing!

And here is something that makes me very happy!




And so does THIS! (You may recogize one of the lines as one of my recent titles. (Prizes for the correct guess as to which one...)

Drastic Change Calls For Drastic Measures

Question is, how drastic do I want to be?

Am I willing to avoid all dairy, wheat, and sugar; make sure my protein is grass fed (which isagenix is, thank goodness;) produce is organic; monitoring my workouts so that my heartrate only reaches between 130-140 for 12 weeks (no more crossfit?)...

...And will it work?

If I went from eating cocoa puffs for breakfast, corn dogs and tater tots or ramen for lunch, however much sugar I wanted, and whatever else for dinner with hardly any exercise--to isagenix shakes for breakfast, starting to crave better but not perfect food, pretty much still eating what I want (only wanting better food for the most part) while discovering crossfit and getting strong--to watching everything I eat, buying as much as I can at a natural grocer, restricting probably 90% of all sugar and processed foods--without a change in my weight or pants size (I can't deny the shape change, though. I know my fat % has decreased, albeit slightly)...

... will one more step really make a difference? Will it be worth it? How long until I can tell if it's working?

Inquiring minds want to know...

Look At Our New Basement!!!

Ok, I know I said I was going to bed, but I have to show off really quick!

All summer long I have really been wanting to make our basement fun instead of furniture-less and boring. Dave was afraid that if I painted it, it would be ugly...but this past weekend, he painted--AND HOW!

We went to Boulevard Home Furnishings Saturday morning and found theater seating, a sound system, bean bags, and even some inexpensive clearance furniture for the other empty living room/wanna-be-fun room (after convincing Dave that having an ugly room on the way to the theater room was not my idea of a home-y home.) :)

Here are some pics! It is not quite finished--the theater seating will be delivered later this week, the other room will be painted, and other minor odds and ends--but it is so exciting! My kids all "sluffed school" so they could be here when the furniture came!

It's purple!!! I love it! The couch will go where the bean bags are...and the bean bags will roam the room, I'm sure...

I think the posters are my favorite, and the curtains hanging on the wall. We will paint one side of the hallway the same color and hang a few more posters.

I love the way this looks!!!! I will add colorful accent pillows and fun posters on the wall.

It is just how I imagined it would be!

An Answer to My Rant...

I forgot that I had emailed a question about my weight loss/thyroid frustration to my women to women program "coach," but when I checked my email this morning, this is what I found:

Dear Cary,
Thank you for writing in to us. It sounds like the weight issue is
important to you. Our Program is not a weight loss plan like others.
You will lose weight when your body starts to feel balance and
wellness. If you can, shift your focus away from the weight and focus
more on self care. Find balance in your foods and your lifestyle. As
much as we do not want to hear this-this has to come first! Other
weight loss plans focus on causing your body to lose weight and most
of the time it cannot last, because we have not addressed the very
reason the weight is there or why it will not come off. To learn more
about our views on achieving a healthy weight, please follow the link
below:
http://www.womentowomen.com/healthyweight/default.aspx

So when I clicked on the link, this is what it said:

"As much as my patients know they should eat well, the concern that looms largest for many is their weight. Whatever their age and station, most women care deeply about what they look like. As a consequence, they battle with their weight, adopting any number of extreme unhealthy patterns over the course of their lifetimes to keep things “in check.”

"The truth is that when your weight changes dramatically from what’s normal for you, or when it’s continually moving up or down no matter what you do to try to change it, it’s often a signal that something isn’t working right. It can be a red flag telling you you’re under physical or emotional stress of some kind (really?) — stress you might not even recognize! It could be something as simple as having too little time to eat regular meals, or it could be years of small imbalances piling up in your body until some added stress puts you over the top — it’s different for everyone.

"From my point of view, whether a woman is overweight or underweight, the first thing she can do for herself is befriend her body. Women are often too critical of the weight level that their bodies find most comfortable. Whether you look in the mirror and see yourself as “too much” or “too little,” obsessing about the extra curves (or the lack of them) is a major obstacle to finding your healthy weight.

"The next hurdle to overcome is the “calories-in, calories-out” myth. Women who struggle with issues of unexpected weight change (whether it’s gain or loss) may intuitively know that something is out of balance in their bodies, but may not “hear” what her body is telling her over the social messages we get all the time. These messages tell us, If you’re gaining weight, it’s because you’re not trying hard enough to control yourself or If you’re that thin, you must have some kind of eating disorder (even as women who are every bit as thin are celebrated for their beauty on magazine covers).

"For some women, stress and imbalance mean weight gain. Our bodies often hold extra weight when something is wrong — it’s a built-in protection that we evolved to ensure survival. Among our ancient ancestors, long-term stress was often related to scarcity of good food, so the body’s response of storing energy as fat could be life-saving. In the modern world, survival isn’t usually the issue, but our bodies still react as if it is. Ironically, this “life preserver” can, over the long run, threaten our health — we’ve all heard the long litany of diseases related to excess weight...

"...Whether your goal is to lose weight or gain it, a key starting point is to recognize where your life and health are out of balance. Once you find and heal your core imbalance, your body weight will stabilize at the level that is comfortable for your body.

"The happy news for many women is that achieving a natural and healthy weight is not about restricting yourself or testing your willpower. It’s about addressing any imbalances and giving your body what it needs: fresh, whole foods, plenty of restorative exercise and rest, and the foundational support of quality vitamins and minerals. Our patients and Personal Program Members tell us this approach beats any weight loss program or weight loss plan they’ve tried in the past.

"Take a look at the information we have on achieving your healthy weight, naturally. We hope your perspective on “dieting” — and eating in general — changes for the better."

Well, everything seems to be pointing to stress relief as my number one goal. :/ Today I wore a heart moniter to my workout. Yes, my heart rate did exceed the 125-135 range that Mike told me to maintain...I talk to him tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes!

And now, I must go to bed, even though I have an assignment due TONIGHT that I remembered TONIGHT. I am almost finished, but I am tired and not thinking straight. This article says I should sleep, so off to bed I go! :)

Mekenze's New Place!

Isn't there something liberating about your first apartment? Add that to first real job, first car payment, first time really being responsible for every aspect of your life...am I bringing feelings of nostalgia to anyone? Yes, I know it is stressful and scary, but in hindsight, it was a wonderful time in my life!

Mekenze recently moved to Anaheim, California, to follow her dreams. She is finding that those dreams may actually be changing as she discovers that the world is a really big place. She quickly found a job at Knott's Berry Farm: Camp Snoopy. She has made great friends, gotten to know and love her paternal grandparents better than she ever has. She has also decided that she really loves Isagenix and the freedom power of network marketing, so she is joining her dad and starting her own Isa-business. She is very excited and says that she is feeling alive and passionate about life again. I'm so happy for her!

As much as she loved the hospitality of cute Grandma and Grandpa Mac Arthur, she really felt a pull to find a place of her own. She found a group of girls in her singles' ward who were looking for a roommate, and she moved in yesterday. She sent a few photos:

Arielle Is Home

Well, she gave it a go.

After spending just over 3 weeks in Minnesota, living her would be "dream life," she decided that the experiences she was having weren't worth going $20,000/semester in debt. We gave her some stupulations to coming home: no sleeping in and lounging around all day, no taking the car without arranging schedules with others who need it (we are sharing a car until the van's transmission gets fixed.) In fact she must get a job or two ASAP and buy a car to hold her to keeping her job, AND she needs to take a class. (She has chosen institute, which is a good choice!)

She came home just in time to surprise her boyfriend for his birthday. She arranged a really cute way to suprise him. Their fun group of friends took him to dinner at Olive Garden. She came in after they were already there and introduced herself to the waiters who were going to take him a birthday cake. She held the cake and stood behind him while they told him that there was a special guest there to sing him happy birthday. They both said that what happened from there was a "blur," but he felt like she would somehow show up for his birthday. The story all sounds really cute, and I wanted to be there to watch, but I promised Arielle I wouldn't be the annoying mom. :) This is where I should post pics, but alas, I have none. She says that many were taken, so if I get them, I will definitely add them!

"And they call it...Puppy Love!"

I Know It's Called Balance, but What Else Is About It?

What a week! I don't even know where to begin...it has been full of ups and downs, many of those downs coming from within myself. Makes me wonder if all this balance talk has just been superficial to this point. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. It has to start somewhere.

I have continued to follow my new eating plan, and for the most part am feeling quite successful and am enjoying it. (Becoming less attached to food and such) I feel like it combines a lot of what I have "learned" about nutrition, things that almost seemed conflicting, and put them together in a way that makes sense to me. I am "eating more"--6 small meals that add up to about 1600 calories, consisting of lots of vegetables, some fruits, proteins and fats, without much sugar. (Preferrably no sugar, but I do take a taste now and then, mostly on the weekends, and nowhere NEAR what I used to consume.) I have followed it for about 30 days now, along with adding new exercise routines to the cross fitness training that I have grown to love. I think my body needs new movements and more cardio, so I actually took the plunge and went to ZUMBA!! I have only been twice, and while I can honestly say that "my body does not DO THAT," I can also honestly say that I have enjoyed it. I am also doing some yoga routines in the mornings to hopefully will help my knee.

Which leads me to my first frustration: my knee. I somehow tweaked it 2-ish years ago (I guess it's a tight IT band, without proper stretching, etc,) and I ignored it for too long. I have had to cut back on some of my workouts--my favorites are squats and box jumps, and I have had to really modify them--and sometimes even just walking really hurts. I thought it was healing, but the first night at zumba really left me hurting. I think it actually hurt more than it ever has! I let myself be affected emotionally by it because I am actively working on getting past this "plateau" I'm on, feeling like pushing myself physically again, and here is the "obstacle." (I know, whaaaaa! huh?)

Second frustration came Wednesday...I probably can't even explain it to the caliber that I felt it. In my mind it all made perfect sense. In words, it probably sounds quite ridiculous...but...

Small preface, since I can't remember if I have posted anything about my thyroid: I have been on hypothyroid medication for almost 16 years, and I have done fairly well with it, though weight loss has been a struggle. I started seeing some results, first with Isagenix (which I LOVE and will never stop)and then with crossfit (which will also probably be a forever thing for me,) and then it came to a halt. I went up and down with nutrition commitments, all with the same results--NOTHING. I had learned to be "fine" with it, but then I started GAINING! at rapid pace! I'm talking 12 lbs in 10 days. That was not ok with me! Not only was their weight gain, but I was just feeling "off" in all areas of my life. That is when I started this blog theme and this permanent life change called "balance."

OK, that being said, I kind of took my thyroid into my own hands, using a doctor as an authority to figure out and write prescriptions for the right meds and the right dosages. My long-time doc was frustrating me, so I went to a gynocologist until he admitted he couldn't make sense of what my thryoid was doing and referred me to an endocrinologist. FINALLY the endocrinologist called me, and I made an appointment. I tried not to be excited to finally talk to someone who would KNOW what was going on, but I couldn't help it. I went prepared to show him what I had been doing to help myself, including exercise, vitamins (especially Isagenix's new "Product B,")and cleaner eating, and I basically wanted him to help me see if there was something missing and to monitor my progress through the proper blood tests, etc. Well, he was a jerk! (I have always disliked specialists because of their know-it-all attitude--I know that is a hasty generalization--but this guy proved my dslike theory to the T!) He wouldn't even look at me, let alone listen to me, and proceeded to tell me that I need to eat less and exercise harder. HE HAS NO IDEA!!! I have been working harder and eating better than I ever have in my life, but for some reason I'm having opposite results! I began to cry, right in his office, and I cried harder when I handed my debit card to the cashier to pay $200 for NOTHING! I know. It sounds ridiculous, but that is how I felt...

Now for the resolution: I texted Dave and told him how mad I was. He called his friend, Mike Lantz, who has coached several people past their plateaus using Isagenix and the knowledge he has gleaned as he has become an Iron Man (competing in 8 or 9 of them so far.) I was almost going to refuse because "I'm tired of getting my hopes up" and every other excuse in the book, but then I remembered that I am on a personal growth journey; I chose to be a good girl and go along. And you know what? I felt peace after talking to him for the first time--probably because he LISTENED to me--and I'm going to find a solution. I just know it!

Needless to say, I am turning more and more toward Isagenix as a product and as a people and less toward to the medical field. I know there are SEVERAL doctors who are good at what they do and who still listen to people. I believe medicine as a science is a blessing from heaven. It has a very important place in our world, but for now I am looking elsewhere.

For my knee, I finally got a supply of the Isagenix joint support vitamins and cream, and I am going to use it as I learned at convention...watch with me as I rely soley on what this amazing company and its knowlegable field has discovered. **keeping my fingers crossed**

What does this have to do with balance? I don't know, other than that I am going to find it.

PS: After I calmed down and came back to my senses on Wednesday, I remembered that Madyson had talked me into frozen yogurt the evening before...so I am little curious as to whether the sugar in the yogurt caused me to frenzy like I did. This is something else I am going to pay attention to...

Balance? or Losing Balance? That is the Question!

I don't know if Labor Day started it off, but this week had the appearance of balanced but the feeling of frazzle to the point of declaring Saturday "I'm not the Mom" day. :) Yes, I speak in the extreme, but some moments feel extreme, don't they?

Can I blame my kids? Either someone forgot to tell them that I am on a balance journey, or they chose not to listen. Labor Day weekend turned into a sleepover marathon...one friend slept over both Saturday and Sunday night out of necessity, so the other friend(s) should have to sleep over to be fair, right? So, jobs were done, tho quickly, but the house was forever chaotic. Don't get me wrong; I enjoy having my kids' friends over, and these particular friends are very enjoyable, but too many movies after midnight in the backyard with a projector can make for a too many sleepless nights.

So maybe it was the lack of sleep that helped me NOT include my kids in the "plan" the way I should have done. I feel like I was FOREVER in the car, running back and forth on the same road because when one person was supposed to be somewhere, the other wasn't ready to go yet, although she needed to be somewhere in that same vicinity within the same half hour. Why did I not insist (or "persist to insist" might be the better way to word it?) Your guess is as good as mine. I repeated the question aloud to myself over and over as I made umpteen trips. I ENJOY taking my kids to their extracurriculars, and I INSIST that they have something to be passionate about, but when appreciation is replaced by expectation, I become irritated. I'm sure the expectation comes from my "give-in-ability," and I find myself kicking myself to the curb over it. By the time Dave got home, I was so frazzled and ornery, with no desire to step into a car, but of course there was taking to and from the Friday-night-fun because apparently no other kids have parents who can drive. (I'm typing as my ornery-warped mind was thinking at the time...kinda sounds ridiculous now.) Needless to say, I declared Saturday "I'm not the Mom Day" and refused to drive anyone anywhere. I thought would lock myself in my office and do homework/storybooking/scanning all day, but instead I hung out with Dave. We went to gym, went to dinner, watched a movie...and it was just what the doctor ordered. I felt "Cruella" relax back into "Me" again.

This lesson on balance could then be called, "Balance between Cruella and...um...I'm sure there is a Disney character out there who overindulges her children..."OR it could be called "Explaining the Balance Plan to Your Children BEFORE You Go Off-Balance!"

In the health and fitness world, I thought I did quite well. I recorded yoga and aerobics (Gilad Janklowitz--love him!) on my DVR so that I could have something to "switch it up" on the days that I can't go to crossfit. I feel like my body needs different movements, something a little more "graceful," (and I use that term lightly) mixed into the heavy lifting and anaerobic "power moves" (also used lightly) of crossfit. (I am hoping that this--especially the yoga--will help the muscles around my knee loosen up and I can overcome my IT band knee issues.) AND I went to zumba with my cousin Tawsha. Yes, I did it, AND I enjoyed it! My hips don't move like that, I looked like a fool, and my knee didn't like me so much for a day or two afterwards, but I am sure I will go again. My nutrition plan is getting easier, and I kinda-sorta think I might be noticing a slight change in my body shape. I don't quite dare say it out loud yet for fear of jinxing it, so shhhh...but... fingers are crossed.

One more thing: I have always KNOWN, but it has been reaffirmed to me through my college-aged kids, that the most important element in staying balanced is CHURCH! More specifically, the gospel. Making sure that we are staying connected to heaven through scripture study, weekly church meetings, prayer, partaking of the Sacrament, living the commandments, etc brings peace to our lives. I, for one, can feel the immediate difference if I miss a week of church. One of my daughters is having a hard time finding transportation to church in the city where she lives, and the burdens of life are wearing on her. I am praying that she can find a way soon! I know she will find relief...)

How Much "Me Time" Am I Allowed to Have?

Or what is "me time," really?

Today I need to look at balance from a different angle. I had someone ask me a question today that really got me thinking. To paraphrase, she was wondering when the last time I did anything for me...

So here go my thoughts; they may make no sense. In fact, I know they won't because I am all confused right now, which is why I am taking "me time" to blog instead of clean my house or do homework or make HM phone calls or flyers or....and which of those are really "want to's" and which are "have to's"? See what I mean? I WANT to go to school, but do I really want to neglect my house--because I WANT a clean house--to do homework? Do I really WANT a clean house? or is that a family need that turns my "want to" into a "have to"? And I really want to get A's in school, but would I rather stay home all weekend and finish CIS modules so I can have more time to focus on the more important classes, like Math and English, or go to Ephraim to hear Due West and The Nashville Tribute Band perform their new album "The Work"? Or neglect both of those and just hang out with my husband who has been gone all week (and pretty much every week)? or play Cruella-Mom so that my kids will learn discipline and how to work hard and my house will be clean...

I could keep going...I want to look and feel good, so I guess that means I want to workout and eat healthy food, but what if what I really want is to go order a large concrete at Nielson's Frozen Custard and eat it slowly as I start off into oblivion? Or better yet, eat coconut gelato as I walk the Champs-Elysses (please mentally insert the accents where they go because I'm not sure how to do it, and I don't really want to look it up right now, but I really do want to be fluent in French and come across as someone who is fluent, but do I really want to sit at my computer with my Rosetta Stone and study it until I have it perfectly mastered?) Do I want to work HM? or Isagenix? or both? and the questions go on and on in my head.

The answer to all of these is YES!!!! For most things I do in life, I WANT to but I also HAVE to do them. But who in the world has all the time in the world to do it all? And is there ever a time that it is OK to actually separate the two and just do something for the WANT of it? And is that even possible? Cuz really, right now I am not even sure what those kinds of wants would be...

Whew...glad I got that off my chest! Now I can go and ... um ... who even knows?

Arielle is in Minnesota

Arielle decided that she was too anxious to get started with her new life to wait at home anymore, so she arranged to stay with a new found facebook friend/classmate until she could move into her dorm at McNally Smith College of Music in St. Paul, Minnesota. Here she is in the bedroom this friend's family kindly let her stay in with her bear, Limey, that was given as a gift from one of her best St. George friends, Juno.

And here is her new cuddle buddy that she hung with while her friend and her family were at work during the day. She loves and is allergic to cats...

I should have more photos of this event, but I don't-- for lack of them being sent and also because I guess not all of them saved on my phone--but this is the text I got on move in day, saying "Guess which one is my floor?" Yep! That's right! The "Party" floor!

Her roommate still hasn't arrived and school doesn't start for another week, so now what to do besides send silly photos...

... and drink chai lattes? or whatever they are called...


I think she is having a good time, but I also think she is missing home. She has written some awesome songs in her "spare time." :) School starts soon...

Balance--Week #2

Wouldn't it be nice if a truly balanced life meant that all things went smoothly? Every activity, every responsibility, every challenge, every desire would come in a perfectly organized format so that it could fit sweetly according to schedule. I have learned (or relearned or maybe have come to accept) this week that true balance often comes from wreacking total havoc and then figuring out how to bring it all back into a balance of sorts, only in the stronger sense of the word.

Examples...let's start with school. I am enrolled in 4 classes (11 credits) this semester so as to FINALLY complete my associates' degree, with hopes of moving on to the "bigger and better" bachelors'. Two of these classes are institution-required busy work--LIB1010 (library) and CIS1200 (computers.) I had to decide whether to prolong the balance for 16 weeks of adding this busy work into my already cram-packed life, or tip the scale a little bit and get one of those classes out of my way. I chose the latter and worked all Saturday--the entire Saturday of not much else but listening to modules and taking quizzes--until I completed my entire LIB course!!! Woohoo! I guess I just have to take a final quiz now...but I am inspired now to do the same with CIS. My brain feels so much less congested now just knowing that I don't have to worry about it anymore!

Example #2...Diet (or "my step forward to a healthier lifestyle," as "Diet" is a bad word.) I have been almost religious in sticking to the Women to Women meal plans that I explained in my last post. I am actually enjoying having someone else tell me what to eat and trying new foods, although I will admit that this week has been a little harder for me. I'm not sure if it's because there were more "strange" choices this week than last week, or if it because I wasn't able to grocery shop until later in the week so I had to juggle days a little bit, or because I have been coming into the homestretch of PMS time, but some days were harder to conform to than others. (Let's say nothing about the amazing homemade donuts that my visting teacher brought that I could not just let pass ungratefully by ...I enjoyed only one, and I DO NOT regret one bite!) And then I read a tweet from a friend that said she had lost over 5 pounds, in I swear it was one day, because she was "eating clean and exercising." GRRRR! I let myself become frustrated because I have hardly seen any change in my body composition or in my weight in 2+ weeks! I then allowed myself to "binge" (well, this was a very mild form or binging if you were to compare it to binges of my previous life.) I went to dinner with Dave (which, remember, I had allowed as part of my total balance goal) and then we went to Orange Peel and a movie. In my rebellion, I had a (vegan) macadamia nut cookie, a large avocado and coconut bubble tea, and a fair amount of popcorn. I didn't even feel remorse...until I realized that I felt SICK! Ugh, rapid weight loss or not, I remember now how much better I FEEL when I eat (mostly) clean. So, the moral of this balance story is to remember WHY I am doing things. Yes, stubborn fat loss is an ultimate goal, but feeling good is a much bigger part of that goal. I must add that feeling good emotionally--by feeling good about ME as I AM--is just as important as feeling good physically. That is true balance.

Example #3...Business(es): I have had this 5 year quandry of having two amazing business opportunities in my life. How the heck to you balance that? I believe in BOTH companies so much! They are totally unrelated, and because I think I am superwoman, I have thought on several occasions that I would work both of them without a conflict of interest. I didn't include MY TIME in that "lack of conflict." It is a huge conflict regarding time. I have to admit, I still struggle in this area of balance. For the most part, I have let my husband run the Isagenix business (at which he is incredible) while I vascilate between powerhousing and piddling around with Heritage Makers. This Heritage Makers teeter totter is not from lack of confidence in the company, but maybe more from lack of confidence in myself or even lack of conviction in what I am really supposed to do. My family is really my number one priority--both companies support family. One would argue, and I see the point, that working either business actually helps my family! Forget the amazing health that Isagenix promotes or the self esteem and powerful family connection that Heritage Makers offers; the financial benefits alone will bring freedom and opportunity to my family in a way that nothing else could! But with both parents pursuing success in business, what does that do for the spiritual bond or the day-to-day functionality of my family? MANY can and do make it work, and I don't doubt that I can as well, but first I need to reconnect to that balance...hence the purpose of this Balance Project!

SO, long story made not quite so long (leaving out the fact that Mekenze has decided to work isagenix and a few other recent experiences with both companies,) I have strong feelings that I am supposed to be involved in both--at least for now. I have decided that in order to really know which is the right path for me, I will do "one thing HM" and "one thing ISA" every day. Maybe I am to remain "slow and steady" in both areas for now, so as to actually reach a balanced life...who knows? All I know is that I will continue as I am until I feel prompted to make a change. I have been able to keep my house clean(er) again, so that, to me, is a good sign!

PS--on the enjoyment side of things, I had a really great voice lesson Friday. I will have to make it another post of its own someday soon. I also found a yoga program on TV that I recorded and have added yoga to my workout routine. Someday I will add zumba too, just to say that I overcame that fear...I'll keep ya posted!