What a great day!

Karter got baptized yesterday. He turned 8 on December 6, but because we wanted to wait for Curtis to turn 16 so that he could baptize him, he had to wait a whole month and a half for this special day. There for a little while I was afraid that Curtis wouldn't get to baptize him after all and I wondered if waiting had been a mistake, but it was a wonderful event! I couldnt have asked for a better day.

The first wonderful thing about it was that it was a family baptism, not a stake event. I don't mind stake baptisms. Any baptism is amazing, and it is neat to see a group of cute, innocent 8 year olds eager to enter into the Kingdom of God. But my family really needed a wonderful spiritual experience, and this was definitely it!

The program started with Mekenze, Arielle, Mady, and I singing I Know That Redeemer Lives acapella with 3 part harmony. (it was amazing, I must add :) but how could that song not be?) The Spirit entered in at that moment... Mady offered the opening prayer, then Mekenze spoke on baptism. This is when the Spirit bore His first witness that this church is true and that baptism is an essential living ordinance, not only to the congregation but I think even more importantly to Mekenze. There is a time in everyone's life when he or he needs to gain personal testimony. Mekenze's tears were a strong indication that her testimony was definitely strengthened at that moment.

Watching Curtis baptize his little brother, using his new priesthood ordination to further the Kingdom of God in his own family was an out of body experience. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. Dave told me later that when Karter was changing out of his wet clothes he said that he felt awesome! Second witness of the Spirit...

Arielle then spoke on the Gift of the Holy Ghost. More tears. Another witness... Then Dave gave Karter a beautiful confirmation and blessing which I wish I would have written word for word! Karter is a strong young man with a great work to do on this earth! And during the blessing the Spirit bore witness to me of the power of the priesthood and of the worthiness of my husband and of my gratitude for him. I am truly blessed!

The talks by the primary president, Lyla Thomas, and by Brother Platt, member of the bishopric, And the beautiful closing prayer by my brother, Zach, were just icing on the cake. The Spirit was so strong! It really could not have been more perfect!!!

The extra amazing thing about the baptism is that Arielle's boyfriend was there. He is investigating the church and is currently seeing the missionaries in earnest effort to discover for himself if the church is true...or not...and if baptism is truly essential for entering into God's Kingdom. He shed tears, many tears. He can't deny what he felt...we are praying that he will continue to have undeniable spiritual experiences that will allow him to move out of his head and let the Spirit guide him.

**My only regret...I failed to take many photos. Here are the ones I did take. My favorite is the one with Karter cuddling up with his new scriptures.

Curtis with Karter in front of the font, before and after being dressed

in white

Karter with his very own baptism book that has the testimonies of all of our family (priceless)

Personal AHAS from The Book of Mormon

Our bishopric challenged us to read the Book of Mormon in two months, starting January 1st. I have been offered this challenge before, but I was always in the middle of some other study or whatever else excuse I had, but this time, even though I had JUST started over and was only in Mosiah, I decided to take the challenge seriously, and for 4 whole days I have been faithful!!

I want to share the thoughts I had today as I read...they are simple, but they apply directly to my life at this time, so to me they are profound. (I feel like I need to journal it to remember, and what better journalist avenue than my blog, right?)

You know the story of the Liahona? The one where Lehi's family had been commanded to leave Jerusalem and travel in the wilderness for an unspecified amount of time to a Promised Land because Jerusalem was soon to be destroyed... Soon after they had begun their journey, but after they were far enough away from Jerusalem that a "quick trip back" would require some effort, they were commanded to return-not once, but TWICE-to first retrieve the brass plates and then to bring back the family (and most specifically) the daughters of Ishmael to marry. After these two missions were successfully accomplished, they were ready to move forward in their journey, and THEN, the morning that they were to continue on, (and after having proven himself faithful in whatsoever the Lord should ask,) Lehi finds the Liahona (his olden day GPS) outside of his tent.

I have heard this story several times, so it almost seems like I, personally, have taken the journey several times. I know it like the back of my hand. But today as I read, I started thinking about how Lehi and his family were totally going in faith. They didn't google "Promised Land" and print the directions before they left. They had no idea where they were going, what "Promised Land" really even meant, but they went forward in faith, hoping that the Lord would give them the directions they needed AS they needed them, and as is apparent in this story, not until the VERY moment they needed them...

My other AHAH moment this morning was during the story of the broken bow. Nephi broke his bow, and the other bows had lost their spring, so basically, they were without means to acquire food. Even Lehi murmured this time...Nephi remained strong and faithful, reminded his family that all they needed to do was ask the Lord what they should do, then go to work in making another bow. The part that touched me was, although Lehi had murmured and was "less righteous" at that moment than his son, Nephi still turned to him to ask whither he should go for food. Lehi was still the head of the household, the Patriarch of his family. He was also human and had weaknesses--he was tired and his family was hungry. Nephi did not judge him. He boosted him up, then he honored him and turned to him for guidance.

This was in answer to a question I had earlier this week. A family study session had "failed"--and without placing blame here, I was left with the question of whether I should take charge and wear the pants and, in my wrath, strongly insist that so and so get out of bed and get to work, or whether I should quietly go about my own personal study, pray about what to do, and counsel with said "so and so" about making our family study work. I chose the latter... Yesterday we had a mini version of our study, headed up by the proper authority, and it was fine, but I still wondered if I had chosen the weaker path. I think this story today answered my question...

New Year's Resolutions

January 1st. New Year's Day! I'm not sure what it is about a new year that feels so good. It is refreshing to just have a new start...even though it is really just another day...there is just something about it

So it seems kind of obvious, then, that I love New Year's resolutions. I know I have many for 2012, but when it comes to verbalizing them, it is hard to put them to words. I know I need to find a renewed passion for my life. I don't know exactly where it went, but I have had an apathetic, passion-stealing cloud over me for a little too long. So my resolution #1 is to breathe and appreciate the beauty of each new day.

#2 I have been feeling like my body needs me to do yoga. The pain in my knee is becoming debilitating and affecting the quality of my physical self, and I am certain the pain comes from my lack of flexibility, etc. I have done a few yoga sessions from a tv program and last Saturday I went to my first hot yoga class. I was a little embarrassed, but it felt really good. I am going to go again tomorrow. I am hoping that I learn to love it and that my body enjoys the benefits.

#3 I need to be better organized. Not necessarily physically--I manage fairly well in that department--but with time management and mental organization, I struggle. (I kind of hope that yoga might assist in this area as well.) With school, young women's, busy kids, housework and meal preparation (which I have barely done lately,) as well as my business, which has thankfully been running itself with the amazing clients and team members that I work with, I really need to master my calendaring skills. I want to do well in all the areas of my life, and I know it is possible with organization. I'm not sure how I am going to go about it. I'm hoping that the fact that I am writing it down will magically create a solution that works. :)

#4 Family Meals...enough said...

#5 Be debt free. So, I do have a plan for this one! I will live within the allowance that Dave gives me, then I will work my HM business enough so that I can pay off all bills that I have created for myself (don't ask...) I can do this!!!

#6 So this last one sounds terrible, and I am almost hesitant to put it down here or anywhere besides my own mind, but I am choosing to as an act of faith in the power of stating my intentions and as an accountability action... this year I will remember and act upon what it feels like to enjoy being a mom. I have a deep love for my kids and for my calling as a mother, but somewhere in the hardness of it all, I have lost the ability to find pleasure or fulfillment or success or.... I don't even know the word... I will find it again. Sooner than later. My family doesn't have time to wait for me. I am starting by getting to know my Savior better, trusting Him as my partner. I am also making myself take time for quiet peace each day, meditation of sorts, to connect with the Spirit and to find the little joys (another desired yoga benefit.) A lady I was speaking with the other day told me to picture a white, bright room with a throne. Every time I am "dealing" with kids, imagine myself sitting there, peacefully listening, and returning love instead of judgment. It sounds like a nice idea. I know for a fact that it is going to take time and --ahem--personality changes to follow through with this suggestion... "Let them know I love them. That is all I can do and all that matters."

Well, there are a few little "filler" resolutions that I am sure I will squeeze in, but these are the big ones. I am excited for 2012! A new year is just what the doctor ordered!

It's Christmas!

I am still struggling with the idea that it is even here, and now it's pretty much over. It has been a wonderful day-a wonderful season, in fact-but it has come and gone in such a flurry that I feel like I'm standing here all jaw dropped and wide eyed...

The thing that has stuck with me this season, above all else, is the TRUTH to he Christmas story. Mary and Joseph really did travel to Bethlehem as very young expectant parents to pay their tributes to Caesar. They really did exhaust all options for a place to stay and found themselves in the lowliest of conditions, but that humble crèche became a literal piece of Heaven as Mary gave birth to he King of Kings, the Savior of the world. I am forever grateful for the circumstances in my life that have allowed me to know this beautiful, true story. I know it more than I know myself.

Today I was blessed to hear my oldest daughter and her friend sing "I Know Tht My Redeemer Lives" in her singles' ward sacrament meeting. It was beautiful. Tears filled my eyes as the spirit bore witness to me once again ...HE LIVES!!!

Gingerbread Houses!

I have always wanted to make REAL gingerbread houses. The one time I tried (my kids were all really little) was a disaster. It was a skeewampus shape, and it never really did stand up...I'm sure you get the picture...so we resorted to graham crackers or packaged kits or just looking at them at the Jubilee of Trees.

My visions of gingerbread houses were reignited when I saw my friend, Jen's, blog. SHE MAKES AMAZING GINGERBREAD HOUSES with her family!!! Even better, she included the recipe and pattern that she uses. SO, of course this year was the perfect year to make REAL gingerbread houses.

Mekenze and Mady got off to a great start. I was thinking their house would win for the most creative. But then...

They started a little late and kind of lost out on the choice of candy. They had decorated one whole side before they realized that the candy was gone...

Not to be hindered, they ran to the fridge and found...well...see for yourselves!

My favorite is the bologna front door and the mustard snow...

It wasn't long before they deposited it in the trash...

Dave and Karter teamed up, and I must say they make quite a team!

Arielle and her boyfriend, Braxton, also teamed up and did a great creative job.

After sitting as a decoration on the kitchen counter for a week, we couldn't handle it anymore...they looked too yummy! (they were hard, but taste is what matters, right?)

Self Confidence

I am realizing that self confidence comes in two parts: spiritual and physical. Both of them are needed for complete confidence, I believe, but I am also starting to realize that of the two, spiritual confidence is more important, more of a foundation, than the other.

I have never had much confidence in my physical self, and there are times that it have mourned that fact and have gone looking for it, usually to my detriment. I have made it kind of my "mission" to help my kids have that confidence so that they aren't afraid to let their light shine to the world. I have been so happy for (and jealous of) their talents and the opportunities they have to develop them. They seem physically confident...

On the other hand, I have almost always felt quite confident in who I am as a spiritual being. I thought that I would naturally just pass that along to my kids. But I am realizing more and more that while part of me was born with spiritual confidence, I also had to learn to apply this spiritual sense of confidence to my physical life. I have two very strong memories of how this happened:

The first memory is of when I was in 4th or 5th grade. (FYI--This is going to sound worse than it really was. I am remembering it in tunnel vision, so in reality, the negative stuff wasn't as intense as it sounds.) I was ugly, overweight, had very few friends. I hated going out for recess. I didn't like to play, and when I tried to be active, I felt like everyone was watching me move around and laughing because I was awkward and fat. So I would usually sit and read or draw or talk to the teachers until they made me play, and then I would just walk around and look at my feet so that I didn't have to see people looking at me, feeling sorry for myself that I didn't have any friends.

One day, as I was thus wandering the playground, I heard a voice tell me to look up and smile and be friendly to people. Nobody would be my friend if I didn't let them be. It made sense to me, so I listened to the voice and immediately did what I was told and tried to be everybody's friend from then on out. And although I was never "popular" or the life of anyone's party, I have felt since then that I have lots of friends, at least from my point of view.

The second memory is actually a melangerie of events, all involving music, around the age of 16. I will mention one sunday in Young Women's--I must have been feeling extra down about my outer self or something--we sang "Learn of Me" by Janice Kapp Perry for the opening song.

"Learn of me, and listen to my words. Walk in the meekness of my light, and I will give you peace, my love will never cease, for I am Jesus Christ." I started to cry,--I mean, I was sobbing-- and could not stop! I had to leave the room because the tears just kept coming. They weren't tears of sadness, however. They were relief and happiness and unconditional love. I knew and still do know, without any doubt, that the Savior loves me.

I have never doubted that I am a "daughter of Heavenly Parents with divine qualities that I am striving to develop." (from the YW Personal Progress Value, Divine Nature.) All of my life's goals and purposes stem from this knowledge, and all my major life decisions are made quite simply from my understanding of eternal life as the big picture. I just know what I will and won't do... because I am a Daughter of God and someday I will be like Him.

I thought that the spiritual part of everyone was strongest. I know now that it is not. I am lucky to have it this way, but I also need to make sure that my kids know who they REALLY are, from the inside out. Remembering how my spirit grew could help me do that...don't you think?


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Today I have been reminising about the pioneer trek and all that has happened since then that I believe is related to the fact that I agreed to go. I found the photo gallery that someone created and spent an hour (at least) browsing through the 2600 photos taken of those 3 1/2 long days.

This is Curtis with his family. He was afraid to go because he thought he was going to be placed with "stupid people," but he fell in love with his family and they have had several parties since the trek. :)


This is the amazing Mac trek Fam. We seriously had a super great bunch of kids in our family. They were fun, hard workers, didn't complain, and personlaities all seemed to fit together perfectly! Our group had all of the best, most innovative ideas. Leaders...

There were some fun times. They gave us a whole afternoon to play pioneer games, rest, square dance, and just enjoy simplicity and nature. Here is Curtis playing checkers. They also had stilts, stick pulling, stickball, archery, and a trading post.

The Mac Fam men, hard at work.

Arielle only came for half of the trek, but she was "lucky enough" to experience the silent women's pull...It was soooo hard!

Here I am, trying to get that dang handcart up the steepest part of the whole trek during the women's pull. I must have pulled the best faces, because they put several lovely headshots of me looking like I was in pain on the photo gallery. I am choosing not to post them here... :)

The Mac Fam women, bringing up the rear. Our girls were really strong and had a great rhythm.

Curtis makes a preppy pioneer.

Arielle with her family...

Quite a group!

I just think this is a great shot of the Mac Boys!

This was the greatest site ever!!!

The trek is just one of the many things that I said I would never do that I have actually found myself doing in 2011. I believe that I am being prepared for something...I'm not sure what...but I am thankful that I have had to turn to my inner strength and to the power of God so that I can be ready for whatever is in store.

It is interesting to me that tonight, as I was pondering this blog post, I looked on facebook to see that my sister, Dani, had posted a true pioneer handcart story that she found http://lds.org/ensign/1972/10/an-evening-of-historical-vignettes?lang=eng&cid=facebook-shared that included one of my ancestors, Elizabeth Xavier Tait. She was part of the Willie Handcart company that endured so much:

I am Elizabeth Xavier Tait. I was born in Bombay, India, in the year 1833, raised in wealth and aristocracy. I was educated in the best schools in India, graduated from college at age 14. My family in India was displeased with my joining the Church. They begged me to forsake my husband, William, and my church and remain with them in India. But after my young son died suddenly of cholera, I knew I must not heed the pleading of my parents and friends. My husband left for Zion before I did; I was to follow after because my health was too frail to allow me to go with him at that time. At my departure, I was disinherited by my family. It was while traveling to England that I faced one of my hardest trials. My baby girl, the last of my children, took sick and died while I stood helpless. After I arrived in America, I found myself a member of the fourth, or Willie, handcart company.

Many of the carts were tastefully painted to suit the fancy of the owners, while here and there appeared inscriptions such as “Truth Will Prevail,” “Zion’s Express,” “Blessings Follow Sacrifice,” and “Merry Mormons.” Snatches of the marching song “Some Must Push and Some Must Pull” served to lighten the monotony of the daily routine.

Fall came early with a frosty night. Aspen groves turned yellow on the mountain slopes, and crimson patches of oak held forebodings of approaching winter. Far down the plains of Wyoming the Martin company moved hopefully up the Platte.

The daily rations were cut again with a prayer that help would come on the morrow. But the morrow, instead, brought death—first one, then another, and another. Life went out as smoothly as a lamp ceases to burn when the oil is gone.

(The men's) shoes were so worn that they finally fell from their feet, and they bound them up with pieces of gunnysacking and strips of canvas and cloth. In spite of this, their feet were cracking and sore and bleeding so badly that tracks of blood were left on the snowy trails.

Shouts of joy rent the air; strong men wept till tears ran freely down their furrowed and sunburnt cheeks, and little children fairly danced with gladness.

WILLIAM TAIT:
I knew Elizabeth was in the company, and as the time approached for the appointed arrival of my wife, I grew both rejoiceful and anxious at the thought of our reunion. My anxiety mounted to near panic as the winter of that year came unseasonably early and severe. I volunteered as a member of the rescue company to meet my beloved wife. I cannot tell you of the fear and helplessness I felt while en route. Would we get there in time? Would she be alive? By October 31, 250 teams had been sent to relieve the sufferers. On October 20, the first of our relief wagons came into sight of the Willie company.

This is an awesome story, and it seems much more real knowing that it was one of my direct ancestors AND because I sort of understand in a small way what the experience was like. I guess it is time to storybook Elizabeth Xavier and William Tait's story...