The Other Side of Motherhood...

I really did not know what to expect when I realized that one day --soon-- I would be waiting at a hospital with Mekenze (and, of course, her husband George!) as she has her first baby, my first grand baby. I knew it would be special and hard, but I just never could have imagined exactly how special and especially how hard...

I remember my mom saying my first labor was "the hardest labor she ever experienced..." I was thinking, "um, how?! You can't want to switch places with me right now..." But now I can say that yes, in a way, she probably did! It's hard to watch your daughter wrench in pain and cry out as she realizes that the hardest about having a baby will not be hunger pangs... And as each hour and a half only brings tiny bits of progress, it seems to her that she might be doomed to this forever. In some ways, I really do wish I could do it for her. But not even the most enabling of mothers could take this pain away. It's hers and hers alone. 

I remember one really long night, just weeks before Mekenze (my first) was born. I remember being so afraid of the unknown! I couldn't sleep, so I turned to the scriptures. I don't remember if I fell upon the verses about the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane or if I searched for them on purpose, but I vividly remember feeling the Spirit so strong as I realized that the Savior knew how I felt!! He groaned at the pain He had to endure, even would that the cup could be removed from Him, but He had agreed to suffer it because He loves us that much. I knew there was no way out of childbirth once I had agreed to enter in, and even though I wished somehow it could all just pass, the intense love that I felt at that moment was far greater than the fear. 

The joy is totally worth the pain!! 

And today that love is intensified as it is being magnified through my daughter...

In just a few short hours, Baby Lukas will be here!!! I can't wait to hold him!!!

I need to say something about George. He is always very caring, very concerned, and very respectful, but it's been neat to watch him develop a whole new respect for Mekenze...and for his own mother. He thought this would be just a couple hours and voila!! As the pain has increased, he has grown somber. He even said "if kids knew that their moms went through all this to have them, they'd be nicer to them." 

I thought it was profound. 

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I thought this was the end of the labor and delivery part of this blog entry, but the nurse just came into the room and have us bad news. Mekenze hasn't progressed more than a centimeter on the past few hours. Her water broke 16 hours ago. The baby is starting to get distressed, so they need to so a c-section...

Mekenze went into a little moment of shock--no emotion, pale face--and then she began to cry. She is upset. Mostly scared, I think. I know everything will be ok, but I wish Dave could be here to give her a blessing. George doesn't have the Melchizedek priesthood yet. Iys 4am and there is no one we know to call who could get here in time. George offered a prayer before the doctor came and wheeled her into the operating room... 

And now we wait... They said at least 2 hours until I can see her...