So, I don't have any real excuses for the lack of blog over the past 3 1/2 weeks, other than that my thoughts have been consumed with either school or Lukas (the cutest baby on the planet who just so happens to be my grandson). School is amazing, yet the hardest I've experienced thus far, which doesn't leave much time for blogging, or even thinking about what to blog, for that matter. One of the reasons that this semester is harder MIGHT BE that I feel like I am in a sort of alter universe now that there is a baby in my heart that didn't come from my own body. I want to hold him always and just watch his every move, but I can't. He lives in Vegas! And there are other life responsibilities that would keep me from traveling to Las Vegas every day--you know how it goes... ;)
In Africa there is a tradition that suggests that exposing a new baby to the world (other than family and close friends) is not in the best interest of the child. For that reason, I have not been able to blast this blog with the many many adorable pictures of him. That time is coming soon, however, so beware!!
I am feeling very anxious right now! It could be that I have a scary test in less than an hour. It is the first test for Spanish Lit--a class I totally love because it involves two of my loves, language and literature, but that is so hard right now! Or it could be that Dave and I booked a trip to Europe to go visit Arielle and Braxton!!!! We fly out October 30 (and yes, we will miss Halloween with the other kids... is that so wrong?) and we come home November 9. This is a serious realization of a dream! It could also be ... I don't even know... so many things going on inside of me right now! The holidays are coming, Curtis is soon to turn 18, Mady is soon to drive, Karter just keeps getting older and life keeps spinning faster.
So of course this isn't a clinical type of anxiety, but I am feeling anxious, nonetheless. I just need to be able to label my thoughts and feelings so that I can translate, recognize and categorize them, and then put them to rest.
But now it is time to take a test! Buena suerte a mí!
2 comments:
OH, I know what you mean. I haven't blogged in just as long. But there are worse things, right? :) Buena suerte on the test! Sp Lit is a challenge, but I'm sure you'll do a million times better than I did. At the time, I had ASL in my heart and wasn't really so interested in Spanish. It was fine, of course, but ASL was so much more beautiful and natural to me that Spanish became hard to focus on. Plus, it's just a HARD class!!! Very intense. :) I'm sure you will do well. I love the Lukas story. What an amazing experience to love someone so deeply who isn't actually YOUR child. A grandma love must be just a whole different thing. I am THRILLED that you are going to Italy to visit! I LOOOOOOOOVE Italy!!!! AH! You're going to have the time of your life. And -psh- don't give a second thought to leaving other kids on Halloween. Buy 'em a bag of mini candy bars and let them watch movies. :) That's my answer to Halloween. Thanks for taking the time to blog! It's great to get caught up on YOU. xoxo
I'm digging your "answer to Halloween." :) I actually like Halloween--well, I like other peoples' Halloween decorations (especially my mom's as she is a Halloween FREAK), and I like to make fun food on Halloween night that looks like fingers or frankenstein or whathaveya. But please only make me do Halloween for one night! I had a fit in ward council because they were wanting to do a trunk or treat on the Tuesday before Ol' Hallow's Eve. I told them I refuse to do costumes and candy and all the fuss more than one day a year! And I got my way, so hooray for an occasional outburst. Even in ward council!
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