The Other Side of Motherhood...

I really did not know what to expect when I realized that one day --soon-- I would be waiting at a hospital with Mekenze (and, of course, her husband George!) as she has her first baby, my first grand baby. I knew it would be special and hard, but I just never could have imagined exactly how special and especially how hard...

I remember my mom saying my first labor was "the hardest labor she ever experienced..." I was thinking, "um, how?! You can't want to switch places with me right now..." But now I can say that yes, in a way, she probably did! It's hard to watch your daughter wrench in pain and cry out as she realizes that the hardest about having a baby will not be hunger pangs... And as each hour and a half only brings tiny bits of progress, it seems to her that she might be doomed to this forever. In some ways, I really do wish I could do it for her. But not even the most enabling of mothers could take this pain away. It's hers and hers alone. 

I remember one really long night, just weeks before Mekenze (my first) was born. I remember being so afraid of the unknown! I couldn't sleep, so I turned to the scriptures. I don't remember if I fell upon the verses about the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane or if I searched for them on purpose, but I vividly remember feeling the Spirit so strong as I realized that the Savior knew how I felt!! He groaned at the pain He had to endure, even would that the cup could be removed from Him, but He had agreed to suffer it because He loves us that much. I knew there was no way out of childbirth once I had agreed to enter in, and even though I wished somehow it could all just pass, the intense love that I felt at that moment was far greater than the fear. 

The joy is totally worth the pain!! 

And today that love is intensified as it is being magnified through my daughter...

In just a few short hours, Baby Lukas will be here!!! I can't wait to hold him!!!

I need to say something about George. He is always very caring, very concerned, and very respectful, but it's been neat to watch him develop a whole new respect for Mekenze...and for his own mother. He thought this would be just a couple hours and voila!! As the pain has increased, he has grown somber. He even said "if kids knew that their moms went through all this to have them, they'd be nicer to them." 

I thought it was profound. 

****

I thought this was the end of the labor and delivery part of this blog entry, but the nurse just came into the room and have us bad news. Mekenze hasn't progressed more than a centimeter on the past few hours. Her water broke 16 hours ago. The baby is starting to get distressed, so they need to so a c-section...

Mekenze went into a little moment of shock--no emotion, pale face--and then she began to cry. She is upset. Mostly scared, I think. I know everything will be ok, but I wish Dave could be here to give her a blessing. George doesn't have the Melchizedek priesthood yet. Iys 4am and there is no one we know to call who could get here in time. George offered a prayer before the doctor came and wheeled her into the operating room... 

And now we wait... They said at least 2 hours until I can see her... 

Since this is NOT a food blog....

Although I can think of at least a couple close friends and family who totally COULD do it, I am in no way qualified to create a blog totally dedicated to food! So...let's get back to my random though process. :) I'm totally qualified at RANDOM-ness!

My thoughts today are centering around CHOICES. The quality of my life is directly proportionate to the quality of the choices that I make -- every day! A totally simple concept, yet oh so difficult for some to fully comprehend.

I had a conversation with my daughter awhile back. She was dealing with some difficult friend challenges. Without compromising trust, I'll just say that she is at the age where friends start making different types of choices, which in turn creates the choice for her between friends and goals. She has some pretty solid goals that require a lot of time commitment and mental energy, and even though those goals are quite solid in her life vision, it's hard to know what to do when you realize you may lose the constant companionship of some of the people who have been a hugely important part of your life for a really long time! (15 years is an eternity to a teenager)

I explained to her  (or rather reminded her) that she needs to look at what she wants today and what she really wants her life to be like in the future and decide what she wants more. She is a strong girl and really wise beyond her years, so she immediately replied with the ever popular teen phrase "I know, Mom..."--and I know that she really does know (which isn't the case for all teens who use that response), but what I said next seemed to really get to her:

(Of course I don't remember exactly what I said, so I'll paraphrase)

If you look at the life you have now, the life that Dad and I have given you, it's pretty great, isn't it? We have basically everything we want, and even more importantly, we are happy! We have an amazing, strong family. We are healthy; we get along; Dad and I love and respect each other; we have talents that we get to develop... We have a GREAT LIFE! Do you think that all of this is an accident? I will tell you right now that NO, it is in no way an accident.

When I was your age, I made choices. I knew what I wanted in life, so I chose very carefully how I was going to spend my time and who I was going to spend my time with. I had a lot of friends--because I chose to be kind to everyone and look for the good in them, even those who weren't always easy to like--but I didn't "hang out" with very many people. I wanted to go to college, and I knew that the only way I could go was if I worked really hard to get good grades and get a scholarship. I also had a job, starting at age 12, that limited how much time I had to "waste." Even more than that, I knew that I wanted an eternal family. I wanted to be married in the temple to someone who was worthy, which meant that I had to make sure that I was worthy. And because I made these goals my priority, it created a natural separation between me and others who did not have those same goals. Or maybe they did have those goals--in more of a mystical wish form--but they let day to day pleasure get in the way. I can't judge, and for many I have no idea how their lives are now, but I do know some who don't have the life that I have now.  

Dad made choices. He sacrificed 2 of his "prime" years to serve a mission, when many of his friends and even siblings were making opposite choices. When he got home, he had the opportunity to play baseball on a semi-pro team and maybe even eventually on a pro team, but he knew that what he wanted most was an eternal family. When he felt prompted to leave his team in California and move to Utah to play baseball (what pro teams are in Utah...??), he immediately did! He went to the temple every week to get inspiration on which direction his life should go, and it was only a matter of months before he met me and we were married. He has always been faithful to his decision to be a husband and father, and he has worked HARD from day one to provide a good life for us. He sacrificed his free time and many things that he enjoyed to make sure I could stay at home and be Mom. After 15 years of being a mechanic, he sacrificed his comfort zone of being a mechanic to pursue Isagenix because he knew that spending a small amount of time in discomfort could in turn create the life he has always wanted to live. And we are living it!!  It is not by accident! Everything we enjoy in our life--not just money, but EVERYTHING--is ON PURPOSE!

I'm not sure if you realize that, even though we do have a great earthly life, it is Eternal Life that is our true goal. That is what keeps us going. That is what allows us to enjoy personal revelation about which path to take, which decisions to make. We seek to know and understand the laws that Heavenly Father has given to us, and then we do our best to live those laws. That is why we have the life that we do. We are happy because we love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and we allow them to bless us by being choosing to be obedient.


It seems really simple, but choices are sacrifices, and the choices we make really make all the difference.

What About My Commitment to Cook?

I promise I haven't been slacking on meals. I just having been blogging about them. I promise I won't post every meal for the rest of my life (insert sigh of relief here)  but just to show myself and ya'all that I can be consistent when I put my mind to it, Here are the meals I made for the rest of the week (well, the ones I remembered to take pictures of, anyway).

SPINACH TORTELLINI

I made this meal with Mady in mind because she loves pasta. I find it is more fun to cook when someone gets excited about it. I also was especially excited about this meal because I was finally going to be able to use the dried tortellini that I bought awhile back but nobody liked it because it didn't rehydrate enough with the recommended directions. I thought this would be great because it was a crockpot recipe so it would have HOURS to get all moist and yummy.

But Mady recognized it right away and wouldn't even taste it! FAIL!  (Dave liked it, so it wasn't complete failure. Thanks, Dave!)

She even made a VINE about it: 

https://vine.co/v/hOBavm3vM03

A HEALTHIER BROCCOLI CHEESE SOUP

This was my favorite! I wanted soup, but I didn't want calories or creamy stuffs, so I took a huge bag of frozen mixed veggies and steamed them til soft, then I puréed most of them in my Blendtech until they were--well, puréed--and added chicken bouillon and a little bit of dehydrated cheese powder. No one knew it was the healthy version of "broccoli cheese soup." MMMM!!!!

(Not pictured were chicken salad sandwiches (on croissants, because that is a very important detail) and pork chops with fried "rice" made with the left over quinoa (Dave's creation.) 

OK. OK. I'll admit...this week has been a little less successful with meal prep. I've decided that Tuesdays will often be a Costco ready-made-meal day because it is just way to crazy with Young Women's and school and what-have-ya. Yesterday it was fantastic Costco 5 layer dip, and tonight...I don't feel the greatest, and I refuse to get sick, so we ??ordered pizza?? That is always the healthy choice!

Tomorrow will be back on target...

Day 2--Meal 2

We're on a roll--a whole 2 days in a row!! 

Dave told me once, back in the day, that his mom would have dinner ready by 4:00 and everyone would just eat when they could. I was like, "Well, that won't be happening here. We will eat dinner together as a family!" 

That was obviously when my kids were young and always home at dinner time. You live and learn and eat a lot of words on this path called life, don't you? Or, at least I should say I DO! (Can't speak for everyone else. 😉 That's where humble pie inevitably comes in. )

So... Crock Pot Balsamic Chicken! 

Thanks to a post that was shared on the What's  For Dinner Facebook group (started by my friend Angie Quinlan). The post originates from Holly's Fitness & Healthy Living page. 

Thanks for sharing, ladies! 

And this is how it should look when it's finished...

Rediscovering my Domestic Self

... Well, kinda. ;) 

**I'll start with a statement in my defense: I have not stopped performing my domestic roles entirely. I just do them at a way lesser frequency than I once did. 😊**

There was a time that I was domestic in almost every way (leaving out sewing and crafting and ironing and...) I would clean my house like a fiend pretty much ALL the time (we'll discuss my acquired wisdom on this at another time,) and every day I made all 3 meals from scratch. If someone would tell me there was an easy, yummy, packaged meal that I needed to try, I would figure out how to make it with real food. I was sure it was better for my family, and I knew it was way less expensive! I still know these two facts to be true...and yet...

I have a lot of excuses for why I "gave up" my cooking job after 13 years of marriage, and in my mind, all of my excuses are valid! Whether it was because my husband "quit eating" or because I had teenagers who could fend for themselves in the kitchen (and often do, leaving huge messes in my kitchen that I refuse to cook in) or because I had baby number 5 and was overwhelmed and tired or... I mean I could go on and on...BUT

The important thing here is that it has become a thing of habit that needs to change.  I have made a promise to myself--and to my younger kids who don't really remember that I used to cook-- that I will make dinner more often than not! (I'd like to say every day, but let's be realistic.) And I'm blogging about it because I need to be accountable to someone. 😉

Today is enchiladas. Of the crockpot nature. My plan is to prepare the meal in the morning so it's out of the way before the whirlwind hits...

                   Wish me luck! 

What a Week! (part 2)

The Isagenix convention has left me still speechless. What an amazing time! I wasn't feeling up to the event going into it--just home from girls' camp, leaving the kids, leaving many unfinished projects at home, etc--but that quickly changed as Dave and I were greeted by and reconnected with so many amazing friends! It was also really fun to have my brother Zach and Mekenze and George there with their little teams. Everything is better with family!

The first exciting thing was that at registration we were given a pin that let us know that we are on track to go to Paris for 5 days with Jim and Kathy Coover!!! Anybody who knows me can understand how happy I am to know that Dave and I are going to Paris!!! And with the Coovers, who know all the good places and shop like celebrities. Can you say EXCITED!!!???

Another amazing highlight of convention was the moment that Dave was awarded "Man of the Year!" This award is selected by president and co-founder, Jim Coover, and is a HUGE honor!!! I was so happy to know that all of Dave's hard work and passion are being recognized by corporate. He sooo deserves this award!! The event became even more of a highlight than it already would have been when Dave was NOT in the room when they announced his name! He had gone to the store and then took the bags to the car so they wouldn't be a bother. Right before the announcement, I got a phone call telling me that it was very important that I get Dave in the room--and I TRIED to get a hold of him--but he was too far away to get there in time. As they read his description before announcing his name, it was obvious to anyone who knows him that he had won. The crowd was going crazy and when they finally said "Please welcome to the stage our Man of the Year, Dave Mac Arthur!" everyone was standing and cheering...there was nothing else to do but to go on stage and accept the award for him. It was the LONGEST walk of my life! It was surreal as they handed me the mic and asked me to say a few words in Dave's behalf... I felt overcome with every emotion: pride, fear, sadness because he needed to experience this!  But it is what it is...it turned out well, and I got tons of compliments on being the "Woman of the Year" and stepping up to the challenge to speak impromptu in front of 8,000 people.  I was flattered, but still...HE needed to be the one!! I think he was a little bummed as well to have missed the opportunity, but he is humble and says that it happened how it should have...

Another highlight and extreme honor was that we got to sit at the Coover's table at the Gala! Of course we didn't get a photo, but here is one of us on stage with them:

We also sat next to Lori Harder, who is my wanna be vision board body model  (you can find her on the cover of Oxygen magazine, Sept. 2011) :) She is such a sweet lady, and I was so surprised and inspired to know that she is in her 30's! (not sure she has kids, which is another issue...) but a girl can dream, right? Anyway, she is on Dave's team and was named number 90 (or so) millionaire in the company. She is amazing, and I am happy to call her my friend. And I DID get a photo with her!

Dave's team party was amazing! So many people were there!! Dave and JoJo (Dave probably works mostly closely with her as far as masterminding and team activity) rented a house that team members who flew long distances could stay in to help cut costs. We stayed there too, which we usually like to get our own room at the same hotel as the event, so it was kind of a different arrangement than we are used to. It was good in many ways--we got to know some of the team members better. On Friday night, tons of team members came over to a dinner that JoJo had catered. They had team awards and a few testimonials. One of the most amazing testimonials on the effectiveness came from Bob Sheridon, who is a hall of fame world boxing announcer. He has quite a name, but his health has struggled the past several years. He has had incredible results! He spoke to us--very fun to listen to!--and we got a photo with him before he left:

Here are a few of the key players on Dave's team (there are SEVERAL more) and many of them stayed at the house. I love that I feel welcome among them! I really feel like we have an extended isafamily.  The team was very sweet to recognize ME with a nice award! I don't really do anything, but they say that Dave couldn't do what he does without my support. It was sweet for them to notice me, but the real power behind it all is definitely Dave! I just keep the home fires burning. ;)

So many more amazing people and memories and exciting things that happened at the Isagenix convention this year.  I realize more and more every year that Dave and I can really be ambassadors for marriage and integrity and family values to a lot of people who know how we are because of Dave's position in the company. I am blessed that Dave wants me by his side at these events.  I'm happy that we were able to go together again this year. It's important to me, and I'm learning it is important to many others to see us together. 

On the last night (Tuesday), the kids drove to Vegas to meet us. They stayed the night at the house with us, and then we drove to California to do some school shopping and to stay at the beach. Mady has been wanting to do this all summer and to bring her two best friends with her, and this was the only time that was available. We had a good time. We stayed in a really nice hotel right across from the beach, and we visited a few malls for the kids to find the perfect back to school outfits. It was a little much for the parents, going from one big event to another, but the kids had a great time, and it was worth it. (More time to relax on the beach would have been nice... :))

I didn't take many photos in California, but here is one of our night walk on the beach. We found a fire pit that was still burning, so we stopped to enjoy it for awhile.

 And here is Mady with her friends, eating lunch at Sharkee's at Huntington Beach. They have really yummy food and it's fun to sit outside and watch all the beach bums on the street. This was right before we headed for home. It was a really short trip, but we had a good time.

We were home long enough to sleep in our own beds, and then it was time to drive to Cedar City for Karter's first baseball tournament with his traveling team, the Bears.  These were the team's first ever games playing together, and they did quite well. They won only one of four games, but they played quite well. For Karter, this is his first "real" team--no coach pitch, no everyone wins, and the kids are starting to have some knowledge of how to play.  He felt a little bit of internal pressure as he wanted to pitch and hit more perfectly than he did, but he did a great job and had a lot of fun.  He is a good little player. I love watching baseball, especially at this level. 

Here Karter is playing first base:

And I always love the high 5's to the other team at the end of the game.

So, needless to say, we had a really fantastic week and a half, but we will really enjoyed spending the Sabbath Day of REST at home!!! 

Just in time to start school this next week...

What a Week!! (Part 1)

I must say I am a little tired, but this week has been an exciting one!!

It started last Thursday with girls camp. I can sometimes have a bad attitude about girls camp--not because I don't believe it is wonderful but because planning it is way over my head and stresses me out a bit. This year, however, I had the most fantastic leaders, and camp was so so amazing! Other than the self-inflicted kind,  I felt almost no stress.

It was "ward camp" this year, so we were able to take a few more liberties than when we go with the stake. First of all, we kept it short, beginning at 1 pm on Thursday and arriving at home by noon on Saturday. (My kind of camp! 😉 We accidentally discovered 2 years ago with our last ward camp that short but action-packed can be very powerful, at least with our girls' personalities.) We began at Sister Heidi Palmer's home to divide into "families" and to introduce our theme (which I LOVED)--Girls on Fire: Believe. Obey. Endure--with a devotional that featured a talk by President Thomas S. Monson. 

http://youtu.be/DKiIlwn8z3I

After the devotional, we loaded into cars and drove an hour and a half to Logandale campground in Kolob Canyon on the backside of Zion National Park. I never been to Kolob before, and I was completely enchanted by it!! It seemed like something you'd see  in an enchanted forest type movie. (For lack of a better way to explain it) Absolutely gorgeous!!! 

As soon as we arrived at camp, the girls put up their tents. The camp leaders made sure that none of the adult leaders did it (or anything) for the girls. The laurels were basically in charge and the girls did everything--set up, take down, meal prep and clean up, everything!! Once camp was set up, we circled around for a fun skit by the Laurels and then instruction from Sister Palmer and Sister Wells before they all left for their hike. All throughout July we has talked about survival and emphasized the importance of listening to parents and leaders and of being obedient. So the files were reminded of some of the things they had learned about prepared for a hike and then given 5 minutes to evaluate their day packs before they left. The plan was that there would be 3 different challenges throughout the hike--building a fire without matches or a lighter, finding edible plants, and building a shelter--and once those were completed the girls were told that they wouldn't be going back to camp that night but rather they would be spending the night where they were. I was told that all of the girls had great attitudes and did very well. :)

Next day was packed full of adventures like ropes courses

 rock climbing, rifle shooting, slip and sliding ( more photos to come as soon as I can collect them) and ended with an amazing testimony meeting. I was especially proud of my daughter, Madyson who went without her two best friends but who stepped up as one of the youth leaders (as a miamaid) and was kind and supportive and very engaged in every activity and who note the final testimony of the night, even though it a fear of hers. Her words were powerful and heartfelt and made me cry tears of joy and inspiration.  The youth of today are SO INCREDIBLE!!! I love to watch them when they finally step boldly into their power. I'm honored to be a leader of such a great group of girls. 

I didn't stay the night (Dave and I needed to leave early the next morning for the Isagenix annual convention), but the bishopric came Saturday morning to make a delicious breakfast for the girls and then they cleaned up and headed home, tired but happy and (I believe) changed.